It is easy to imagine the state a writer is in when one can only blog about not being able to get around writing. November went by, chockful with events that shook up the personal and the political, that I only managed to keep a not-so-steady commentary of through the micro-blogging goodness of facebook and twitter. At the very moment of my writing here, I have pending technical work for my NGO, research for my Envi Sci 1 class, and two weeks worth of thesis implementation backlog.
Apparently, a deep itch to write finally won over the need to get the piling tasks done as December finally exploded into my life (or possibly a deep sense of procrastination. You choose.) It caught me without a single post made in November.
I wanted to write about Ampatuan Massacre, but every self-styled journalist has already gotten around to burning the topic out (and still no real justice is dispensed!) If I went about nitpicking about the killing fields, then I should expound on the 1,100 extrajudicial killings and over 200 enforced disappearances in the country, the latest statistic coming in the form of a labor organizer who died from a heart attack induced by AFP intel psy-war tactics. I did not get around to doing this.
I wanted to do a running commentary on the lectures in my Science, Technology & Society (STS) Class to celebrate me finally getting to enlist this subject after four years of bad luck and bad registration processes and results. Already we have had interesting and timely topics like the Philippine typhoon experience, Renewable Energy and the Automated Elections. I did not get around to doing this, but as a consolation, it was at least confirmed to me that Mozart indeed had a positive effect on babies.
I wanted to write about CPU’s recently concluded first training of trainors on voters’ education and the automated elections (this was even before Robert Verzola’s aforementioned automated elections lecture in my STS.) I wanted to synthesize the knowledge I’ve learned about source codes and hash values as well as the general euphoria one experiences in an edifying activity. I also wanted to summarize in a single post the complete absurdity of the 2010 elections (absurdity of which marcosian rule can possibly rise once again.) I did not get around to doing this.
I wanted to write about the many extra-curricular activities I have partaken in, such as the Hacienda Luisita Massacre anniversary, the Dukot benefit premiere, and the play about JMS celebrating the founding of the Kabataang Makabayan. It’s been a while since I have engaged in activities that have cultural capital, and suffice to say that the practice of criticism has been hounding me to put it to test. I did not get around to doing this, although the coming Sinagbayan play “U.Ave.” should serve to break the dry spell.
Obviously, time was, and still is, a scarce resource. I content myself with the fact that my life this month has been a treasure trove of thoughts and ideas that cannot be contained in a single post, or in words even. I remember the first (and only) set of cards that I’ve drawn from my talecraft deck have materialized rhetoric in my thoughts, but to this date has remained as nothing but an idea. It has, however, played itself out in life, a plot involving betrayal, blindsight, and a wayward woman.
At the onset of this post, I wanted to write simply for the sake of writing (of course, such a thing is impossible when your mind and tongue is inherently activist.) I have left this post to the devices of my streaming consciousness, for regardless of what I write here and how I write it, what is important ito me is that I have experienced it, and not just imagined it. Nothing beats living out what could have been just abstract words.